Hunter S. Thomcat: the Livestream

Whenever I’m at large events and I’m asked to write my name on those “HELLO, MY NAME IS” stickers I instead write “Watermelon is the secret code word.” Most people just look at me like I’m off and avoid me. Some people (usually the ones in large, boisterous groups) loudly yell “Secret code word for what?” and I just say “I have no idea what you’re talking about” and walk away. But a few people (usually the same people hiding in corners, or drinking so they have something to do with their hands) will hesitantly come up and whisper a single word. “Watermelon.” And then I nod and smile like we know a secret the rest of the world doesn’t and I quietly say, “You’re in. Welcome aboard.” Then they usually smile back – happy and slightly confused – and walk off with a little more confidence, knowing that they’re part of something bigger. Bigger and ridiculous and utterly insane.

Those are the best people.

There are seven days in a week and “soon” isn’t one of them.
Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess (x)
rebloggingthebloggess:

“That’s right, motherfucker. I’m your damn boss.” [x]

rebloggingthebloggess:

That’s right, motherfucker. I’m your damn boss.” [x]

geeknerddorkdweeb:

"Still on the lookout for Draco Mouse-foy,  Severus Snake and Hairy Otter.  …  PS.  ’OMG, DUMBLE-DORMOUSE.’"  -The Bloggess

geeknerddorkdweeb:

"Still on the lookout for Draco Mouse-foy,  Severus Snake and Hairy Otter.  …  PS.  ’OMG, DUMBLE-DORMOUSE.’"  -The Bloggess

dears:

(via Vengeance is a dish best served with inflatable horns. — TheBloggess.com)

kayheight:

Penelope Vanderpelt and Whiskers O’Shaunnesy. Oh that Jenny Lawson..

glamourvial:

friend: Why did you just send me a picture of an angry vagina?
me:  I didn’t.  I sent you a picture of a kick-ass cake.
friend:  No.  It was a hat.  With an angry vagina on it.
me:  It’s a cake with the Eye of Sauron on it.

—from the bloggess.  i love her, and you should too.