friend: Why did you just send me a picture of an angry vagina?
me: I didn’t. I sent you a picture of a kick-ass cake.
friend: No. It was a hat. With an angry vagina on it.
me: It’s a cake with the Eye of Sauron on it.—from the bloggess. i love her, and you should too.
Fortunately, cats are immune to scorpion venom (fun fact!), so they’re safe. Unfortunately, the cats don’t understand that I am not immune to scorpion venom, and so instead of killing them they just bat them toward my bare feet while I’m watching TV.
“
| — | Jenny Lawson, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. (via booksnippets) |
I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never happened, and the things that make me “weird” and “different,” were actually the most important parts of my life. They were the parts that made me me.
“
| — | Jenny Lawson, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. (via booksnippets) |
